


Legality or Lackthereof

by Yevynaea



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Christmas, Dubious Ethics, Family Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Hanukkah, Illegal Activities, References to Drugs, Road Trips, Short One Shot, Smuggling, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:06:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2493803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yevynaea/pseuds/Yevynaea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The twins and Wendy get roped into going on a road trip; something about family bonding. Dipper has some reservations, particularly considering that all past family bonding activities with Grunkle Stan have ended with cops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legality or Lackthereof

            “I’m really not sure about this, Grunkle Stan.” Dipper suspiciously eyed the heavy coat he’d been handed, then turned his gaze on his uncle, who was handing an identical coat to Mabel. When they’d been offered the chance to return to Gravity Falls over winter break, helping their great uncle do things of dubious legality had not been on the twins’ lists of activities they were looking forward to. And a spontaneous road trip to Idaho definitely seemed like it had the potential to be something of dubious legality.

            “Come on, family road trips are fun!” Stan said with fake enthusiasm. “Wendy, you ready to go yet?”

            “Wendy’s coming with us?” Mabel asked, putting on her coat without preamble. Then she frowned. “Grunkle Stan, this coat feels really heavy.” She paused and narrowed her eyes at him (“for dramatic effect,” she’d reasoned many a time before.) “ _Suspiciously_ heavy.”

Wendy emerged from the Mystery Shack with a backpack slung over one shoulder, and she was wearing a coat not unlike the twins’.

“They’re heavy because they’re full of the potential for fun memories, right Mr. Pines?” Wendy grinned, and Stan pointed at her.

“Exactly! See, this is why I haven’t fired you.” Stan told her, and the teen rolled her eyes, still smiling. Walking over to stand next to Dipper, Wendy muttered something under her breath.

“…Haven’t fired me because I _know_ too much.” Dipper heard.

            “Okay, but why are we going on a road trip in the first place? And why are we going to _Idaho?_ ” Mabel asked. “And ugh, this coat is too heavy.”

            “Just leave it on.” Stan ordered. “And as for the why…uh…” He looked around like he was looking for something to distract them with.

            “This is a job.” Dipper said, now completely certain of that fact. He sighed deeply. “A don’t-tell-anyone-or-we-could-all-get-arrested job.”

            “Yup.” Wendy confirmed, getting in the front passenger seat of the car.

            “Ok, so maybe it is,” Stan made a dismissive hand-wavy gesture as he got into the driver’s seat. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun family bonding time, too. Now put your coat on and get in the car, kid.”

            Resigned to his fate, Dipper did as he was told, noticing the weird weight of the puffy coat immediately. He felt in the pockets, and found that the seam at the bottom of each one was loose, as if someone had pulled the seams apart and then shoddily sewn them back together. Climbing into the back seat and buckling himself in next to Mabel, Dipper grabbed the the bottom of his coat in one hand and felt what might be a plastic bag inside it. What the bag was full of, Dipper could only guess.

            “Grunkle Stan, did you put something in the lining of these coats?” Dipper asked, with probably much less alarm than would be appropriate.

            “Nope.” Grunkle Stan answered cheerfully and too-quickly. “And if we get pulled over, just whine about how we’re going to miss Christmas dinner until the cops let us keep driving. Got it?”

            “Got it.” All three kids parroted, with varying levels of enthusiasm.

            “Good.” Stan smiled at the twins in the rearview mirror. Driving away from the snow-covered Mystery Shack and down the road that’d take them to the highway, he glanced at them and at Wendy a few more times before giving a tiny sigh. “Before we come back, you guys can each pick one small thing to bring home from Idaho, as your Christmas presents from me. It can’t be anything alive,” He looked pointedly at Mabel, “Or anything magic,” He turned his gaze to Dipper, then to Wendy, “Or anything your dad would murder me for buying for you. But beyond that, pick pretty much whatever.”

            “I thought you already got us presents; there were some under the tree in the Shack that said they were from you. Plus we already had Hanukkah.” Mabel said. Stan narrowed his eyes at her.

            “Do you want free stuff or not, kid?” He demanded, and Mabel snapped her mouth shut.

            “Grunkle Stan, how much trouble are we gonna get in if we get caught with whatever you put in these coats?” Dipper asked.

            “You can pick out two things if you stop asking questions.” Stan deadpanned, and Dipper eyed him for a moment before nodding and shutting up. Wendy reached out to turn the radio on, and Stan waved her hand away. “Don’t touch that, they only play annoying Christmas carols this time of year.”

            “That’s the whole point, dude.” Wendy reached for the radio again. “It’s like a game, each person picks one song and you count how many different versions you hear of each person’s carol during your drive. My dad and brothers and I play it; sometimes we even bet money on who’ll win.”

            Stan let Wendy turn the radio on.

            “I call Jingle Bells.” He said. “You all owe me ten bucks if I win.”

            “Doesn’t that kind of counteract the free stuff you promised us?” Dipper asked, and Mabel nodded in agreement.

            “We just have to keep him from winning.” Wendy turned around in her seat to wink at the twins. “I’ll change the channel whenever I think Jingle Bells is coming up.”

            “That’s cheating.” Stan pointed at her accusingly, then hurriedly put his hand back on the steering wheel when the car started to veer to one side.

            “No it isn’t.” Wendy replied cheerily. “What do you guys think?”

            “Nope.” The twins chorused. Stan made an irritated ‘hmph’ noise at the three of them.

            “I’d fire all of you if I could.”


End file.
